Release me, enlarge my territory. Come in Lord and bless me in the midst of my circumstance. Are you faithful? Are you consistent? Do you serve me with gladness or is it with lipservice? Is this but a quick fix or a long term solution. My word says 'die daily' are you willing to die for me?
As my prayer unfolds my heart unravels. So much to do, so many desires...but where is the consistency? Am I willing to be consistent in the 'work' that it takes to not only 'get' the things that I desire of God but to also keep them? Lord, am I flighty? Am I easily swayed to and fro led astray by every little shiny distraction? For me, the answer is 'yes'. Its so hard to focus or put energy into one thing or another because I'm pushed and pulled on every side by a mind that is always racing and never satisfied. Help me God to find focus and to be still. Even in that, I race about....trying to hurry up and 'get to the goal, get to the goal', so often forgetting all the lessons that are entwined in the process that will show me how to 'keep' and not just 'get' to my goal. Wow, thank you Holy Ghost.
One of my problems is I'm results driven. If 'it' (whatever it is) is not producing 'visible, measureable' results very early on and consistently - I lose momentum. I realize that.
The other issue is that I'm emotionally driven. If I 'feel' a certain way, I'm more or less likely to 'gain or lose moementum. I realize that.
When I'm overwhelmed with an emotion or a feeling (happy, sad, anxious, afraid) I go to food. I try to go to 'healthy' food but when it doesn't satisfy, I go to 'feel good' foods.
I am competitive. I do much better in tandem with someone else rather than just against myself.
I am nurturing. Because I care about 'you' I am more likely to do better for me. I believe in being an example.
I do best when I'm in my momentum. On a roll as they say. When I'm going, I'm all in..on everything. I have to keep my momementum.
I also have a comfort zone - a fake one and a real one...whoooooo....the 'fake comfort zone' is a dangerous DANGEROUS place. Its the place I go that I just 'let go'. Where I say, "I'm beautiful. Everyone is not meant to be skinny. I deserve this (cake/bread/cookie). I feel like exercising. I deserve to just 'chill' for a while. Now, some people (even myself sometimes) may look at this 'fake comfort zone' and say, 'That's not so bad, everyone needs a break sometimes.' But getting to know ME means really being honest with myself. Listening to my 'self talk' and learning how to interpret it.