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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

For Colored Girls

Note:  I did not write this email nor do I know the original author.  But it was so profound and struck so close to home for me I wanted to be able to refer back to it and share it.  I'm not a fan of 'fwd's and typically DON'T EVEN READ THEM.  But I'm glad God led me to read THIS WHOLE LONG THING because it is right on point in so many ways. 

I love my sisters...of every color.  Let's share love!!

Subject: For Colored Girls

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited.  I had the
idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this
movie.  I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another
that would  lead to healing and growth, I guess I kind of imagined a Womens
Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I  realized
that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons: You
don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out
with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making
yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see,
you don't like crowds, so n so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity 
etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each others biggest
critics.  We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each others faults
and nit pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and
then we step over her and call her worthless.  We take the prettiest women and
tear them down for thinking "they are cute" but turn around and dog the average
sista because "she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't
believe she got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women
of riding somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger
and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the
loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman
for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself"  Sad part is we don't
discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and
Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting to
darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is
something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to
see that.  I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want
to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like, what
has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along. Why is that we fight
amongst ourselves, backstab & steal each others men(only to find out we should
have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and
stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other
groups unite against us but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample
on the spirits of each other daily. 

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich
handsome husband etc, this does not mean that should look down your nose at the
woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep
her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a
woman who's child father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I
receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I
would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this
overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent.  If I could get just
one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because
I’m the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to
accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have
some peace!  Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good
credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure,
fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of
character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent
you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to could have carefully put on
her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you
handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to
school from a dark house with empty bellies.  The teller you just got rude with
at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea
how she is going to survive past next weekend.  The sista at the office that
appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves
because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into
bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion
because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this
e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares
of an abusive childhood. 

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like each other
and be phony, But I am asking that we all try to respect each other.  You HAVE
NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or
current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today.  We spend so much
time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up
cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend 1/3 of the time
we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show
someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save someone's life. 
PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I
tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your
support, your prayer. 

I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a laugh and
that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone know that you
believe they are somebody special and that if need be you are available to
listen. Nothing bad is going to happen if you don't forward this e-mail but I'd
like to think that something positive will happen if you choose to pass it
along.  May favor be extended to each and everyone in your lives, keep your head
up and know that someone somewhere cares!!!

Beloved, resist the temptations that the devil brings to cause you to get
discouraged. Stand strong and believe. Refuse to allow fear to undermine your
faith and your ability to achieve and maintain emotional and mental stability.
The breakthrough that will follow this time of testing will be well worth the
effort necessary to overcome, says the Lord.

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In
the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the

Listen! Do you hear the trumpet resounding in the realm of the Spirit? I am
calling you, My beloved, to rise up and go forth by My power and anointing to be
all that you are destined to be. It is time to come up out of every place of
discouragement and defeat; rise up in restored faith and renewed hope. You will
break away from all that has held you down if you will only believe. Let victory
resonate, says the Lord.

Hosea 6:1-3 Come, and let us return to the LORD; for He has torn, but He will
heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. After two days He will revive
us; on the third day He will raise us up, That we may live in His sight. Let us
know, Let us pursue the knowledge of the LORD. His going forth is established as
the morning; He will come to us like the rain, like the latter and former rain
to the earth.

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